You live WHERE?! By Kristen Adams |
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When a typical college student is considering living off-campus, a halfway house probably isn't the first option to come to mind. I'll admit that I used to be a bit skeptical as to why any law-abiding individual would choose to live at Dismas House, and now I'm out recruiting other students. Dismas House is a community of former prisoners and college students. There are several of the houses all over the country - ours is a big Victorian home on Buell Street in Burlington. I'm often asked (only half-jokingly): "What on earth do a college student and a former prisoner have in common, besides the fact that nobody wants to live next door to either of them?" The idea is that the house is for people in transition, and both groups thrive in supportive, family-like environments. I'm a senior at UVM, and this is my third semester at Dismas House. My sister lived there a few years ago as a UVM student, so luckily my parents were pretty much broken in by the time I announced that I wanted to live there. I'm currently the only female resident and the only student, but people come and go pretty quickly and the situation is usually more balanced. To be honest, it really doesn't matter what the make-up is. We don't have much choice but to get along. When the house is full we have eleven residents (including one director) and things can get pretty crazy. I would caution that it's not the place to live if you need a lot of privacy or quiet time, because at times it can rival any dorm for the chaos award. Most residents share a room, but there are two singles, and I have my own room until another woman moves in. Most residents who are just coming out of jail are on house arrest, so they tend to get restless and bored if we don't do a lot of outside activities. We have weekly house meetings where we plan activities - last year we bowled in a weekly league and spent a day at the Alpine Slide, and this year we hiked Camel's Hump, went sailing on Lake Champlain and played mini-golf. A good share of our meetings also involve venting our frustration at anything from the noisy squirrels living in the walls to the towering stacks of dirty dishes in the kitchen sink. The house activities are always a blast, but even day-to-day life is pretty fun. We all have different schedules, including a few guys who work nights, so there's always someone around to hang out with. It's not unusual to come home at 2 in the morning and find someone in the kitchen frying up some sausage or making brownies - Dismas is the house that never sleeps. What I like the most about the house is getting to live with really fun people that I would never ordinarily meet. It's a nice change to live with people who are out working everyday instead of at classes - I realize I'm pretty lucky to be in school. There are some residents who, for whatever reason, keep pretty much to themselves and don't spend much time just hanging out. It's easy to do, especially if you're a student with a lot of work to do, but those people miss out on a lot. I've made some really close friends since I came to the house, and I've definitely become aware of how sheltered (and how fortunate) I was growing up.
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Life at Dismas House does have its more challenging moments. For me, the hardest part is seeing someone that I care about relapse and have to move out. I've seen this happen quite a few times and it's a good lesson of the power of alcoholism and drug addiction. When someone breaks a major rule, he or she is asked to leave. If this is a first violation, they get to appeal. If it's granted, the resident can stay, but with the next violation the dismissal is automatic. The rules are pretty simple, but they aren't always easy to follow. The basics are: no violence, no drugs (including alcohol), and no sex in the house. Some former prisoners have histories of violence, and nearly all have abused alcohol or other drugs. This isn't often mentioned, but the same can be said for many college students, so the atmosphere is really good for both groups. Many former prisoners attend support group meetings or other programs to break their patterns of behavior, but they still struggle everyday. The "no sex" rule sometimes throws people, but it really does make sense. Romantic relationships between residents could make life uncomfortable for the others, especially since most of us have roommates. If a relationship does develop, then the director asks that either of the residents move out. Beyond the rules, there are a few more responsibilities of residents. Each person has a weekly chore to do - which usually involves cleaning a common room and a dish night. We eat dinner together every weeknight and different volunteers from the community come in and cook and eat with us. Sometimes work or class schedules conflict with dinner, but residents are expected to be there at least three nights a week. Dinnertime is the best opportunity for all of us to sit together and talk about our day, and it makes the house feel more like a regular home. People sometimes ask me: "Aren't you scared living there?" I can honestly say that I have never felt threatened or scared while in the house. The guys I live with are like family to me - they're the big brothers I always wanted. We get along like siblings - sometimes crabbing or even yelling, but eventually forgetting about the little stuff. I sometimes joke that I've learned more from living at a halfway house than I have in all of my classes, and that's not entirely untrue. It's fun to have finally mastered the "corrections" lingo, which can include things like: "My p.o. said that if I bag v.o.p. one more time before I max out I'll get one to three with a minor d.r." Seriously, and more importantly, I've become really aware of the power of labels since I see my friends struggle to shed them every day. Students who are interested in living at Dismas House or being a volunteer (or just coming for dinner to check it out) should call Richard or Kim (the directors) at 658-0381. |
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Vermont Collegian April 13, 1995 page 18 |
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